आज फिर उनसे मिलने जाना है

Feeling like writing something in hindi...and also feeling strangely romantic....so here goes


लबों पर हंसी है...आँखों में फिर वही नूर आया है

पीता तो नही मैं...पर फिर कुछ नशा सा छाया है

नींद है खफ़ा खफ़ा....फिर भी ख़्वाबों का घना साया है

फ़िज़ूल ना मुस्कुराता मैं...पर हर कोशिश अभी ज़ाया है

हर लम्हा उम्र एक....पल पल एक ज़माना है

खुदा ही सम्हाले मुझे...आज फिर उनसे मिलने जाना है

A Silent Tear

Ever imagined talking to a tear drop? What follows as per my imagination is a chat with our very own Silent Tear (ST)! Read on....

Me : Hullo there! Long time no see, where are you putting up these days?

ST : Ya, i know, long time, hope you havent forgotton me. Thought you needed me, so came running. I see you are all crapped up right now.

Me : Hmmm. I am in a fix yaar, I have messed up big time this time, now I don't know what to do. I guess that's why you are here. Anyways, forget that, enough about me, how are you doing?

ST : Oh, I have been fine, running from one loner to other, but its fun. You should see these morons, they so crack me up. The funniest ones are those with girl trouble, I can barely stop my laughter there.

Me : Interesting, you say girl trouble. Don't girls cry when they have guy trouble?

ST : Cry? Man, we have to send an army there. I am from the SF, I work solo, I cant go in there!

Me : I see. But what exactly are you supposed to do. You seem pretty useless to me.

ST : Ignorant fool! How dare you doubt my worth! I cleanse your eyes, restore moisture, some say I am even good for the skin. And on top of that, I am fully sponsored by the management, you don't need to pay a thing. What more do you want?

Me : Arre I was not talking about that, don't you have any emotional significance or something?

ST : Ah! So you've turned into those morons afterall. There's nothing emotional about me, but for your satisfaction, I can say that I lighten the mind, lessen your sorrows, bring God and all his angels in your heart blah blah! There's more, you want to listen?

Me : Ok, Ok. I get your point. Its you good you came when I was alone, this conversation would have caused me so much embarrasment in public. Your timing is perfect everytime, I must give that too you.

ST : Why thank you! I know you don't like people to know we are friends. I understand.

Me : Chalo then, nice talking to you. I hope the only time I need you again is while chopping onions, but who am I kidding, its life, you are bound to come sometime or the other. Just come as silently as you always do, and i'll be fine. Cya

ST : Cya, keep scrapping!tc,gn,sd,gb,abcdefg123...

Me : Ok,Ok, enough, dont get carried away, you too tc, bye

ST : Bye 8-)

Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire

Just now saw the movie Shindler's list, and am still feeling its awe. Makes one realise how special each life is. Funny how life can never be measured by numbers, or by goodness or badness or usefulness or worthlessness. No mathematics applies to human life, you can't add two people, and say their value is double now. No science can tell you that mr. xyz's existence is more valuable than mr. abc's.
Imagine a war going on in a far off land,say country Warland. Millions died in the war, and here you are, sitting comfortable in your old sofa, watching BBC, the new correspondent tells you how this army massacred that village, you get bored, ah!What the heck, you change the channel, start watching India vs Australia cricket instead. Lets be honest, this is what usually happens, this is what happened while Afghanistan was bombarded, while Iraq was raided.
Now imagine the person you love in this world the most to be gone to Warland on a holiday, I am not asking you to get sentimental or something, just observe how suddenly the war becomes a zillion times more important than India winning or play being abandoned due to bad lights. When a millions people were dying, what mattered more was whether Dravid was fit to play, but now suddenly this one person is put into picture, and the whole painting changes. All mathematics fails here, the value of that one life for you surpasses the value of all others by far.As if each life has an infinite value by itself, nothing determinate, but very much there, and able to assume all possible greatest or smallest numbers(if numbers at all). The ring gifted by the jews to Shindler says so aptly "Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire".
How people can easily kill each other, how men have in history murdered brutally, and how some lives are completely changed by the demise of one, and how others remain unaffacted even by a million of deaths. It is strange business indeed, weird ways in which life works. The more one thinks about it,the stranger it seems. Its always better not to think, everything appears so perfect behind the rosy shades of stupidity, of ignorance; its best kept that way.

I am BaCK!!!!

This has been a long break from blogging n stuff. Not that I didnt have time to write, just that I had started to get a feeling that blogging is just so stupid(I even almost deleted my existing blogs once).
But now here I am, alone in the hostel, nothing to do, back in the pointless thinking mode, and what better way to let all ones senseless thoughts out than to blog!

Solitude is such a strange thing, so enjoyable in the beginning, becomes unbearable after some time, and then after some even more time, one starts enjoying it again. I have entered the third phase very fast it seems, it feels so relaxing sitting in the room, doing nothing, thinking about anything and everything. There's no work to worry about, no one to bother me, i even keep my cell phone silent most of the times. My only companion these days is LAN gaming, whenever I feel I have too much on my mind, I simply buzz some people on the messenger, we arrange for a game, and believe me, everything is forgotton. How I used to find it so difficult to get things out of my mind, and now I have found the perfect solution; just a game of DOTA, and everything smokes away. Gaming is pretty much like alchohol I guess, its addictive, takes you away from everything real, and everyone but those who play say you shouldn't do it.

Now don't get me wrong here, I do like to be with friends, I am longing to meet everyone back home, but I think I somewhat understand now what people mean when they say that one should take some time out for oneself. At some level, I guess I became so involved with so many people that this sudden isolation is feeling like a welcome change, it has given me time to clear up a lot of clogs in my mind, seeing everything one at a time.

I think this will be enough for today, i really don't know whom i am addressing this blog to, coz' i really haven't put up the link to it anywhere, nor have i told many people about it, but my greetings to anyone reading it, have a nice day!

Love you Papa!!!

Since the time i remember anything about anything, there has been one constant source of inspiration for me, one ideal i have always had....my Pa. He has always been this perfect person,who is right about everything,and even if i disagree with him on many issues,somehow he still manages to sound correct(the case is just the opposite with ma :D ).

I guess most sons feel this way for their dads,the dad son relationship is a strange one.Even with so less talking(we are males afterall),there is this underlying feeling of knowing each other completely.Papa never says anything,he'll never say "don't do this,don't do that",but still i know he knows everything that is going on,and in his own subtle way,he conveys whatever he wants to say without using much of words,and that too with much greater effect than any number of words can ever say.He shows such immense trust in me that till this day the single most thing i am most fearful of is breaking his trust.If ever i manage to break this trust,only God knows how much that will pain me.

All i wish is that i live up to what he expects of me,just as people tell me today"Son,your Dad is a great man!",i wish someday he will hear the same for me.I cannot ever dream of ever repaying him back for whatever he has done,but i would so like to gift him this much that his chest swells with pride whenever he sees me.Love you Papa!!!!!