The semester that was....

Exams just got over yesterday,and with it came to an end the most sleep deprived 4 months of my life.I feel so relaxed now,it has finally ended!
After my cpi dropping by almost a whole number in the last semester,this sem brought with itself a felling of resolve(more of hope really).I entered into it with an aim of atleast getting my cpi back up in the 8 point range(cant say i tried though,but atleast i thought about it).But from the day i saw the timetable,i knew it was never going to be easy.With only 1 afternoon free in the timetable,i was beggining to wonder whether IIT has finally lifted me out of the mirage i was in.
The star attraction was surely AutoCAD,a course which was superbly designed to ensure 2-3 night-outs per week for every civilian.But it was sometimes a great help too,if anyone tried to give you any work,just say"sorry man,got a CAD submission to finish",and he will understand,pat you sympathetically on the back and say "hang in there dude,God is with you".
Now dont get me wrong here,the house I designed when completed did give me a great feeling,it was a beauty(as every mother says even for her spoilt worthless child),but come on,people make a lot of money for doing what we did,and instead we had to pay for it(not only in money,but more importantly in sleep hours).
And if we stil got time left,there was always this heap of pending lab journals to be completed,or a quiz to come.
But looking back,the courses weren't really that bad,GKS was god!!!!Prof. Sethi was the best prof i have met till date.
That reminds me,of a certain IIT Kanpur gold medalist who taught(rather dictated) water quality management to a bunch of IITians who he thought were still in 2nd grade,he actually made us buy a full workbook(and made some money there too) of fill in the blank type notes and would do nothing in class except making us either complete those or occasionally send us out of the class.I am normally against bashing of professors(even the not so good ones),but here i gladly make an exception.
So that was the last semester academically in a nutshell,there is a lot more to write but i don't want this to become so long that even i don't read it again myself.

Going public!!!!

From a long time i haven't written anything,i just havent felt like writing(apart from the fact that life has accelerated beyond limits all of a sudden,so no time might also be a factor).

Writing has always given me a good feeling(to put it in simple words),i want to write.I think maybe going public might make me write more often,maybe then the hunger for attention and appreciation will force me to write more.This will make my blog a lot less frank,true,but let me try it once.

So do let me know your views

Akshat

wax on,wax off......

Yesterday in the lecture,the prof,noticing the number of students sleeping in the class,made an interesting comparison.He compared our training to the "wax on wax off" training Mr. Miyagi,a martial arts master,gives to his pupil in the movie "the Karate kid",in which he makes his pupil wax his car everyday in a particular manner.The kid feels so frustrated and cheated,all his fascination about karate is gone,he thinks "Why the hell am i doing this?".But in the end,this and such other modes of training make him the champion and it is only then that he realises the value of it all.
Is it similar to what we have been doing?Throughout school and now college,this question "Why the hell am i doing this?" comes so often to my mind,all of it seems so boring and worthless(well,mostly),for me it is just waxing a car,nothing more,but at a deeper level,maybe all this prepares me for what i am supposed to do in life.And why only courses,doesn't it apply toh almost everything in life,most of the things i do seem so worthless,boring,of no use at all,but each one of such "useless" things changes something inside me,each time i grow bit by bit.And now that i come to think of it,look at the degree of subconciousness of it all,i myself never come to know of me changing,i can't tell how or when,i cant say"look,i changed so much on this day,in this particlar week,month or year",i seemingly stay the same everyday,and yet,i somehow manage to change over and over again,strange!(strikingly similar to the concept of integration,funny how math corelates with so many things in life)

System upgradation required!

While going through the morning newspaper today,i read this article about some muslims in UP who refused to sing Vande Mataram because according to them,it implies worshipping the nation,so it offends their religion which permits only the worship of "Allah".Now i am not going to go into the logistics of the correctness of this statement,it really doesn't matter much actually,but the reactions which followed are much more interesting.Consequently,Arjun Singh made Vande Mataram recitation a voluntary act,instantly gaining a lot of minority votes in the process,and then the BJP came into picture with its communal vote bank policy ofcourse,and started voicing slogans like "desh mein rehna hai toh vande matram bolna padega" etcetra etcetra.As i think of this incedent,more and more hindi movies come into my mind(cant help it!),and it all seems so planned,so cliched.And the more i think about it,the more i start to hate and doubt the political structure in the country.The scenario becomes so macroscopic.I dont think Arjun Singh really gives a damn to Vande Matram,maybe he does,but the fact that he does or he doesnt becomes so irrelevent,he has to follow what the party says,and i really am not able to understand who decides what the party says,much of it is guided by vote bank policies anyways.It dusnt matter much even if the politician is idealistic or morally upright,he gets a crack on the back if he dares to speak his mind out(even our previous PM was made to apologise for doing that).
Take the reservation policy incident for instance,most politcians if asked personally and completely off the records,would have agreed to some extent atleast that increase in reservation quota in colleges was not the best solution to the problem,but no party is so stupid so as to lose large section of voters for "merely" doing what is right,it instead follows the "philosophy of the party",and sits comfortably on the votes it has gained by doing so.
Ideally this vote bank policy should have actually worked fine,afterall it simply means doing what the people want.How public opinion has drifted away from the voters' opinion is a complex question,this very question demands a change in the whole structure itself i guess.

But to take it easy on the system,it does not work that bad either,the very fact that we are actually progressing in most (atleast physical) spheres is a testimony to that.But somewhere the system demands a chance,maybe not a drastic one,but still it cannot be neglected.What the change should be is way beyond my limited capabilities to analyse,but i surely can sense the need of it time and again.

Ghalib ka khat

Today i attended this program where Ghalib's diary was been read out.An interesting part was when Ghalib writes a letter to a prince(one of his patrons),whose mother has passed away,offering his condolences.It is in urdu,but the diary reader was kind enough to explain it in simpler urdu and hindi,and i can only try to describe it further in english.
Ghalib was very confused about how to write the letter.He starts the letter by apologising,saying"maaf kijiyega,itne din yehi sochta raha ki aapko khat mein kya likhoon,so khat likh na saka".
He goes on to say that condolences are expressed for three main reasons:one,to express grief,second,to tell the person to be strong and brave,and thirdly,to pray that the deceased may go to heaven(dua karne ke liye).
What Ghalib says next is so true,"gham jataana toh takkaluf-e-mahez hai,jo gham aapko hai woh kisi aur ko ho yeh toh mumkin nahi".
Then he says that to tell someone to be brave is same as telling him that something has happened for which he should be brave,and thus refreshing the painful memories for which the condolences were offered in the first place.
His reasoning against the third point is "rahi dua karne ki baat,toh kya main,aur kya meri dua".
He ends the letter by wishing the prince good health and long life.

I really am thinking whether this letter would have helped the prince in anyway......but the letter is so painfully honest......it can really make one think.

recording new lows

The other day i was going through a copy of linda goodman at a friend's room,and being a proud libran,the first sun sign i looked up to was obviously mine.Although it has always seemed to me that astrology is more an art of how to write such that everyone can relate to what is written somehow,this time i read about the "great libran deppresion" when the scales are tipped towards the wrong side of the libran mind,and i couldn't help but relate to it.
From the past 1 month things have suddenly started going wrong(or so it seems),i seem different even to myself,let alone others who keep asking "what is wrong with you dude?".Something seems awfully out of place,and the more i try to find what,the worse it becomes.Although i do think i have a fair idea of what triggered it all,but it was such a small thing that i cant believe it can affect me so heavily.More like a chain reaction i guess,one thing happening after the other,and then things that aren't really bad become great tragedies in the mind.And then then come the things which really are tragedies,and suddenly i start feeling like a helpless little nothing,unable to control anything,incapable of really helping when needed,like a straw in a bloody flooding river,going wherever it takes me.Things happen which make you feel so small,so embarrasingly insignificant,so painfully helpless,so shamefully stupid.
And now,after coming back to college,when i thought all of it would be forgotten,the thoughts still keep coming back,what with the new hostel and all friends being separated,and the "bhiini bhiini sutte ki mahek" coming from all sides of the room(it really gets into my head sometimes,though ab toh aadat si ho gayi hai),being back to blogging seems quite a relief(more like an escape really).
I have tried a lot of tricks;reading,movies,hanging out,eating out(a lot!i will officially be broke in a few days).Even sleeping,my tried and tested solution to the universe and everything,doesn't seem to be working really well these days.Such a phase has never come before in my life,lets hope the scales find their balance pretty soon.But come to think of it,i guess they have to,so cheers anyways!

Top 10 ways to ignore n enrage friends

This is by personal experience,and trust me,these are real effective,unless you are dealing with real stupid stubborn emptyheads like me.
1. Never EVER call,no matter how much the other person calls.
2. If this doesn't work,stop receiving the other person's calls too.
3. Dont reply to any of the friend's messages.
4. Now if your friend either really likes you,or if he is simply an idiot,the top three might not work.Then you use a new weapon-when he/she asks why you arent replying,just say "aise hi!".
5. Under normal circumstances the top 4 will work,but if someone is really crazy,then you might want to try something different.Now,what you do is you talk to all your other friends,SMS them,write mails to them,hang out with them,and you dont even talk to the one you want to enrage unless he/she calls 2-3 times.Make sure that he/she knows about this and then when you are asked why,simply reply"theek hai,big deal!i'll do all this with you too,kya farak padta hai!".
6. After saying so,repeat step 5 again.
7. Keep repeating step 5 again and again.
8. Even the stupidest of your friends should be angry by now,but the biggest idiots would cool down soon,don't let that happen,just tell your friend that its nothing like he/she thinks,and that he/she is important for you,that you care for him/her,and now repeat steps 5,6 and 7.(I am too good na,i know :D)
9. Once in a while you are bound to meet those morons who are not even offended by these steps,what you do is you hit them where it hurts them,maybe some some past experience,or any thing which they don't like,like talking about things they would never do,or simply talking about ending your friendship,n then later saying that it was all a joke,"mazaak hi tha".

10. Now if you are stuck with someone who keeps bugging you despite all this,then you really got no choice,the man is crazy,stay away from him for god's sake!

Beyond logic

Though logic works fine in most cases,many things have happened which force me to look beyond logic for an explanation,can everything have a reason,is everything accounted for by science,or is there a fundamental flaw in our reason itself,is what we call science just not scientific enough to explain everything?
My dog used to sense my dad's homecoming 5 minutes before he used to come,no matter at what what time papa used to come,he would sit beside the door and start hitting the door with his paws,how is that explained?
I usually get the minimum marks in the exams for which i study the most(i am serious),how is this explained?
Can anyone explain a mother's love to me?
Some people i like so much for no particular reason,and others i dislike equally for no reason at all,how is that explained?
Is sixth sense accounted for by science?
i wont write more,but your comments are most needed and welcomed!

Hail Achilles!

I recently saw the movie Troy,and while watching i couldn't help being impressed by the main character Achilles,potrayed masterfully by Brad Pitt.Let me make myself clear here,i am not talking about his might or glory here,but his spirit,his thought.He,though a subject of the kingdom,was never truly ruled by the king,but at the same time it was clear that he had no desire to rule himself,he was happy to be a subject,one amongst the people.Most people of his might would have been lured very easily towards power and wealth,but he fought for very different reasons,he fought for glory,not power,he fought to win,but not to conquer.
The most moving part of the epic shows him pay his respects to Hector, the warrior who killed his dear friend Patroclus,the warrior he killed in total rage, but still he agreed to bid him a deserving goodbye when the Trojan king Priam comes to him to ask for his son's body.The extent of his free spirit and respect towards a worthy opponent was shown when he even declared the war to be paused for 12 days to pay homage to hector,and such was his might and need to the greeks,that even though the emperor was enraged,he had no choice but to agree.

Serendipity?

The other day me and one of my friends were having this discussion on who will win the champions league this year.While i strongly supported Barca,he was very quick to point out that the Gunners are destined to win.On asking further,he explained to me that everything is simply the same as it was with Liverpool and Chelsea last season,Liverpool were 5th in the table and Chelsea were 1st,just as it is with Arsenal and Barcalona.Chelsea were by far the best team atleast in the competition,just as Barcelona have proven to be this year.Last year Owen was mulling over his transfer,this year it is Vierra.He pointed out some other not so obvious details too,but the point was,he believes that Arsenal will win come what may.

I often meet such people who keep telling me that destiny cant be beaten,it cant be changed,everything is decided etcetra etcetra.This concept has always fascinated yet baffled me.I mean,if destiny is fixed...why bother to do anything at all?Pat comes the reply,i am destined to do what i do,and will be forced to do it by the circumstances.For instance,if i decide not to eat,i will be forced to eat by my hunger,eating is my destiny.Plausible i'd say,but still somehow i am not able to buy it.

Assuming that the theory is true,and we all have our lives fully sketched out and kept in some file stored in a great great drawer somewhere,shouldn't everything be perfect?If someone does write our destinies,why does he not write it perfectly so that everyone is happy.But i find a very nice answer to this question,there is an underlying perfectness is the seemingly random imperfectness around us,and it makes sense when one considers that the world is doing great since such a long time despite the imperfectness and flaws inherent in all beings and things in it.Afterall,you can't be happy unless you know what unhappiness is,isnt it?

But if my destiny is predetermined,then i fail to see the whole point in bringing me to life at all.This theory reduces life,with all its pleasures and hassles,to a mere game some guy named god is playing sitting on a giant table.How does it matter if i do anything,good or bad,great or small,it is not me who is actually doing it,its him.Now if we assume the theory of theisism to be true,then god should have all the sense of the universe,and i cant see why he would run a world just for the heck of it!

But still,i have never come across any strong evidence or even a totally convincing theory in support of or against the theory,the puzzle still remains as it,unsolved,baffling,confusing.....basically it remains the way it was since the world itself was made.While serendepitists(as i like to call them) may say that the puzzle is destined to be unsolved,others simply interpret the absence of a solution as the absence of the puzzle itself.
But heck,I still support Barca,go Ronaldihno!

jack of all trades,master of none

hi...this is my first blog,hope you like it

Well...there is this thought which keeps coming to my mind....is hardwork the most important key to success?I personally have never believed in working hard especially if i am not enjoying the work at hand,i try to do what i like the most,ie,i go by the want and not by the need as much as possible,and it even works for me.For instance,i am not saying that i dont study for exams at all and stuff like that,but i do feel i get away by studying much less than most others do.
Now,what puzzles me is that can i do better if i work really hard?Though my parents may feel otherwise,but i have tried this many times and in the end i find the result to be no better than what i would have achieved otherwise.Its like a certain level of work is set as my optimum level,if i try harder its no use at all.
So another theory which i once believed in is that of smart work.I believed i work in a much more efficient way than the normal ghodagiri way.But now i realise the fallacy of the theory,i do not do anything special,i just go through stuff without paying much attention and time to the small details,infact some of my friends have even tried my weird ways of studying,and have only managed to fail badly.
But lets take another example,i love playing sports.I started playing basketball when i was little less than 16,initially i learned really fast and found myself to be much above my friends,but as time passed on,no matter how hard i tried,i just couldn't raise my game at that rate.I loved playing,i worked hard on my game,but i felt that i was at the same level at which i would be even if i didn't try that hard.Ultimately,i shifted to football,and now i find myself going through the same story here also,i love playing,but i think i am not improving.
But saying all this,i think it would be wrong to say i put in my best,i may say i try hard at sports,but in my heart,i know i just dont try hard enough.Many a times,i think of trying new things,say a new dribbling move i saw onTV,but i simply forget about it whenever i play.There is a small flaw in my kicking with my boots on,i always think about correcting it,but whenever i go out to play,i simply forget about it.Is there a lack of seriousness in me?
Whatever it is,here i stay,without exception,in each and everything i try,as only amongst the good,never the best.Be it sports,JEE,singing,school exams,college quizzes......i always perform well,much above average,but i am never quite the best,there is always a level above me.....and i cannot get on to it,for what reasons this happens,i still dont know.