I am BaCK!!!!

This has been a long break from blogging n stuff. Not that I didnt have time to write, just that I had started to get a feeling that blogging is just so stupid(I even almost deleted my existing blogs once).
But now here I am, alone in the hostel, nothing to do, back in the pointless thinking mode, and what better way to let all ones senseless thoughts out than to blog!

Solitude is such a strange thing, so enjoyable in the beginning, becomes unbearable after some time, and then after some even more time, one starts enjoying it again. I have entered the third phase very fast it seems, it feels so relaxing sitting in the room, doing nothing, thinking about anything and everything. There's no work to worry about, no one to bother me, i even keep my cell phone silent most of the times. My only companion these days is LAN gaming, whenever I feel I have too much on my mind, I simply buzz some people on the messenger, we arrange for a game, and believe me, everything is forgotton. How I used to find it so difficult to get things out of my mind, and now I have found the perfect solution; just a game of DOTA, and everything smokes away. Gaming is pretty much like alchohol I guess, its addictive, takes you away from everything real, and everyone but those who play say you shouldn't do it.

Now don't get me wrong here, I do like to be with friends, I am longing to meet everyone back home, but I think I somewhat understand now what people mean when they say that one should take some time out for oneself. At some level, I guess I became so involved with so many people that this sudden isolation is feeling like a welcome change, it has given me time to clear up a lot of clogs in my mind, seeing everything one at a time.

I think this will be enough for today, i really don't know whom i am addressing this blog to, coz' i really haven't put up the link to it anywhere, nor have i told many people about it, but my greetings to anyone reading it, have a nice day!

Love you Papa!!!

Since the time i remember anything about anything, there has been one constant source of inspiration for me, one ideal i have always had....my Pa. He has always been this perfect person,who is right about everything,and even if i disagree with him on many issues,somehow he still manages to sound correct(the case is just the opposite with ma :D ).

I guess most sons feel this way for their dads,the dad son relationship is a strange one.Even with so less talking(we are males afterall),there is this underlying feeling of knowing each other completely.Papa never says anything,he'll never say "don't do this,don't do that",but still i know he knows everything that is going on,and in his own subtle way,he conveys whatever he wants to say without using much of words,and that too with much greater effect than any number of words can ever say.He shows such immense trust in me that till this day the single most thing i am most fearful of is breaking his trust.If ever i manage to break this trust,only God knows how much that will pain me.

All i wish is that i live up to what he expects of me,just as people tell me today"Son,your Dad is a great man!",i wish someday he will hear the same for me.I cannot ever dream of ever repaying him back for whatever he has done,but i would so like to gift him this much that his chest swells with pride whenever he sees me.Love you Papa!!!!!

The semester that was....

Exams just got over yesterday,and with it came to an end the most sleep deprived 4 months of my life.I feel so relaxed now,it has finally ended!
After my cpi dropping by almost a whole number in the last semester,this sem brought with itself a felling of resolve(more of hope really).I entered into it with an aim of atleast getting my cpi back up in the 8 point range(cant say i tried though,but atleast i thought about it).But from the day i saw the timetable,i knew it was never going to be easy.With only 1 afternoon free in the timetable,i was beggining to wonder whether IIT has finally lifted me out of the mirage i was in.
The star attraction was surely AutoCAD,a course which was superbly designed to ensure 2-3 night-outs per week for every civilian.But it was sometimes a great help too,if anyone tried to give you any work,just say"sorry man,got a CAD submission to finish",and he will understand,pat you sympathetically on the back and say "hang in there dude,God is with you".
Now dont get me wrong here,the house I designed when completed did give me a great feeling,it was a beauty(as every mother says even for her spoilt worthless child),but come on,people make a lot of money for doing what we did,and instead we had to pay for it(not only in money,but more importantly in sleep hours).
And if we stil got time left,there was always this heap of pending lab journals to be completed,or a quiz to come.
But looking back,the courses weren't really that bad,GKS was god!!!!Prof. Sethi was the best prof i have met till date.
That reminds me,of a certain IIT Kanpur gold medalist who taught(rather dictated) water quality management to a bunch of IITians who he thought were still in 2nd grade,he actually made us buy a full workbook(and made some money there too) of fill in the blank type notes and would do nothing in class except making us either complete those or occasionally send us out of the class.I am normally against bashing of professors(even the not so good ones),but here i gladly make an exception.
So that was the last semester academically in a nutshell,there is a lot more to write but i don't want this to become so long that even i don't read it again myself.

Going public!!!!

From a long time i haven't written anything,i just havent felt like writing(apart from the fact that life has accelerated beyond limits all of a sudden,so no time might also be a factor).

Writing has always given me a good feeling(to put it in simple words),i want to write.I think maybe going public might make me write more often,maybe then the hunger for attention and appreciation will force me to write more.This will make my blog a lot less frank,true,but let me try it once.

So do let me know your views

Akshat

wax on,wax off......

Yesterday in the lecture,the prof,noticing the number of students sleeping in the class,made an interesting comparison.He compared our training to the "wax on wax off" training Mr. Miyagi,a martial arts master,gives to his pupil in the movie "the Karate kid",in which he makes his pupil wax his car everyday in a particular manner.The kid feels so frustrated and cheated,all his fascination about karate is gone,he thinks "Why the hell am i doing this?".But in the end,this and such other modes of training make him the champion and it is only then that he realises the value of it all.
Is it similar to what we have been doing?Throughout school and now college,this question "Why the hell am i doing this?" comes so often to my mind,all of it seems so boring and worthless(well,mostly),for me it is just waxing a car,nothing more,but at a deeper level,maybe all this prepares me for what i am supposed to do in life.And why only courses,doesn't it apply toh almost everything in life,most of the things i do seem so worthless,boring,of no use at all,but each one of such "useless" things changes something inside me,each time i grow bit by bit.And now that i come to think of it,look at the degree of subconciousness of it all,i myself never come to know of me changing,i can't tell how or when,i cant say"look,i changed so much on this day,in this particlar week,month or year",i seemingly stay the same everyday,and yet,i somehow manage to change over and over again,strange!(strikingly similar to the concept of integration,funny how math corelates with so many things in life)